Bazzlebream, Fran (1647–1692), ephemerist, phanopœiaster, soldier, and musician, was born in Nötte, of Sauttel in-the-Floc, to Edith Baszle (d. 1649), phroneticist and brewer of adipsons, and Thomas Pahlke (d. 1681), ‘Vpbroyder of the Felterings’ (Book of Tawts, V·III·vij. §75).
Birth and early education
When Fran was born, her older sister Ulloriac (‘Lora’) began to lay claim to the pepper spirits which had been raised by their mother Edith. Although Lora solicited the assistance of their brother, Henry Hieronemos (‘Herry’), he was by choice bookless in the import of these machinations, and failed to admonish Lora or warn his parents. Lora, consequently free of any remorating oversight, spent the next two years consolidating her dominion over the spirits, and successfully persuaded them to hold quarter in unbroached liquorice casks transported from Edith’s storehouse. When this nurturing intermeddler bound the spirits to herself, Edith’s life was forfeit, and Edith became increasingly susceptible to the vicissitudes of fortune. Indeed, the next catastrophe to visit in-the-Floc — a mudslide induced by onding [a heavy rain] — took Edith’s life, despite a distance of some five leagues sufficing to separate her from the misfortune, which had as its proximate effect only the bedragglement of a sounder of resilient wild boars who happened to be making their home near the sloughed cliffside.
As Edith’s corpse could not be approached without eliciting involuntary maledictions from the atrates [mourners], her untimely and baffling death aroused the curiosity of the extended family. Two days following the ides of April 1649, Thomas and his children were visited by Iarlina Urfumpfylle, a woman of bizarre agnomination and dubious claim to familial connection, who would nonetheless come to exert a formative influence over the young Fran during the next twenty-three years.
Iarlina appears immediately to have recognized the fingerprints of spirit forteoþ [seduction] on Edith’s death, pinpointing Lora as the maleficent influence. Traditional development of such cases would have seen the slow exclusion of competing siblings from the powers indexed by the spirits; however, as Lora's stratagem had unfolded with such disgracious rapidity, the thorough body of remedial precedent could not be relied upon, and, by all accounts, Iarlina conducted the matter extemporaneously. With the help of Herry (and toddling Fran inconveniencing the undertaking) the liquorice casks were surreptitiously tapped, and their contents canalized into stills, in which the drink was reduced to an amorphous resin. That resin, buried shortly thereafter at the site of the cause of Edith’s death (i.e. the location of the mudslide) was intended to forestall the ultimate transmission of þéhtr [power, lit. ‘density’] to Lora for as long as any part of the solid remained undissolved.
This stopgap in place, Iarlina installed herself in one of the avian observatories in Nötte, intending to offer her medical competency to the local population. Thomas, acting on her advice, refrained from conveying to Lora the impression that she or her usurpations were unwelcome at the family’s wunynge stede [residence]. Remarkably, her mischievous inclinations thenceforth declined. Thus Fran, though bereft of her birth mother, was raised in the embrace of an otherwise unfractured home, in which Iarlina was a near constant presence.
Thomas’ prestigious position, which (as is often the case) required of him but few hours and little concentration, nonetheless called for frequent if undemanding sallies to Audmot. He found himself accompanied by Herry, and less often Lora; but as soon as Fran demonstrated herself capable of expressing a preference, she customarily chose to remain behind. Though demurring at the house, she was not left entirely to her own devices, as Iarlina supervised her activities in one form or another. Fran enjoyed brief daytrips, especially those to a series of tame tidal caves just north of in-the-Floc, where a little pocket of the bay pursed into squat basalt cliffs. These caves (most likely the Latchwind Stawn complex, but possibly Crumens) were, judging by sinusographic evidence, not only a rich vivarium for all manner of aquatic life, but also a perennial source of ‘crouch sponges’ parable [easily procured and prepared], whose tissue, once dried and pulverized, imparted a sweet, jellylike consistency to liquids, yielding a pectic alternative to commonplace and insipid amylous [starchy] thickeners. Fran, instructed in these methods by Iarlina, was also shown how to mix the resultant powder with the inspissated juices of a certain local raspberry fruit. Such a solution, when agitated and exposed to a low heat, created ollalie, a kind of fruity wax similar in consistency to custard.
In assimilating this pomicultural knowledge, Fran participated in a change taking place in Sauttel in-the-Floc concerning ollalie which, though rarely consumed in its own right, featured prominently as a ceremonial foodstuff within the confines of the many tholi [domed structures] which populated the landscape. These buildings, which had once measured out the distance between tawt hubs such as Audmot, were slowly acquiring new social functions. Fran, in the company of Iarlina, attended almost a dozen gatherings located inside them between 1651 and 1654, and her poetic visualizations convey with precocious method and precision the foggy bustle commented upon by numerous contemporary authors as utterly insident to the events (Papers of F. Bazz., I. sig. AaaQ. ij).
During these celebrations (for such they were), inhabitants — most capable of tracing their lineage to trewagers [tributaries] who had been extant when the area was still subject to blatant forms of plunder — would decorate their faces with a thick white paint and then throng the tholi. They would bring with them bulky sacks filled with multeous loaves of bread, with which they would stock the coarse shelves lining the interior of the dome. The very center, meanwhile, housed a brazier on which glowed fragrant cakes of the ollalie (in this form known as porphiry due to its purplish sheen). Next to the brazier would sit a small brass or latten scale (brass being somewhat hard to come by) on which quantities of ollalie, pre-cut and varying greatly in size and weight, were measured, their weights being recorded on strips of ash bark which, once thoroughly inked, were used to feed the brazier’s fire. At this point, a compère would distribute the ollalie to the supplicants, who, proceeding to fill their bags with bread, would escape outside to commence drinking and folk dancing.
Veterinary intercessions
Like many in the bowed country, Fran was a heedful observer of the rabbit warrens scattered about the land, with particular attention payed to anomalous but worrisome irruptions of leporine murrain. Exclusively affecting the bucks, primary symptoms of the affliction included anorexia, loss of balance, aggressive behavior towards other rabbits and, in the final stages, an impetuous departure from the burrows and, subsequent to an erratic and vagarious course, death. Though the murrain was rare enough so as to present no existential threat to the health of the warrens, the misfortune was generally believed to forebode some foul contingency.
Any child, after achieving their third heliosis (which typically took place just after the sixth year), could venture into the art of arelǽca [rabbit curing], an opportunity from which Fran did not shy, and into which she was initiated by a society of areläkir wherewith she had to come into contact at Iarlina’s aviary. The rabbits’ behavior, thought to be caused by a reaction to the compression or constriction of their hęftian [behagenboden, lit. ‘comfortable territory’], allowed of a number of possible remediations. Fran’s preferred treatment, detailed in Some Punctilios of the Areläkir (1665), involved the selection of a standing stone, judged to be above a certain mass, and the identification of another stone resembling the first in hue and shape as much as possible, but located on the contrary side of the warren. These stones, being then whelved so as to lie on their sides, were planted about with seeds of moss phlox (Phlox subulata). This accomplished, the carcass of the plagued rabbit was placed on top and cremated. In certain cases temporary huts constructed from various organic materials were erected around the stones and, depending on their flammability, burnt along with the animal. In the spring of 1661 Fran performed this contubernal feat with one Edwina Oswick, only to have to recommence her efforts after a light rain, as even slight eavesdrip undermined the efficacy of the ritual (Punctilios, §83.0).
Mensurators of Gommf
In the summer of 1663, the inhabitants of Nötte began to notice that some of the dulciflux of economic and sociocultural import to the village (such as liquorice, olallie, and rabbitmilk treacle) had begun to return to them in foreign containers of fixed sizes: an ‘ant’ (approximately 0.2 gallons) a ‘nap’ (0.9 gallons), and an ‘extent’ (5 gallons), each one adorned by a wax seal imprinted with the merchant mark ‘Mensurators of Gomphe’ (a loose consortium of regraters, middlemen, and chafferers).
On 11 August 1663 Fran accompanied a nunciative delegation sent to caution the ur-merchants of Gommf (at the time spelled Gomphe or Gommfe) as to the specific torts and general folly of such doings. The Mensurators, deaf to the mission’s requests, left the concerned citizens of Nötte little choice but for a concerted response. Such retaliation, according to a firm doctrine of frið, had to leave unmolested the livelihood of anyone not threatening them with physical violence. Widespread endorsement of a preliminary boycott was initially considered but ultimately disregarded, owing to its presumed ineffectuality. Instead, a few of the local foundries began to manufacture and distribute stamps bearing altered versions of the Gommf imprints. Replacing the town seal with a ‘foolscap’ mark, altering the city of provenance, and applying one of many erroneous indications of capacity were only the more innocuous of these interventions. Soon, barrels began to appear decorated with pervasive spots and stains, implying leaks, cracks, or general unsoundness. These ersatz warnings — the product of the diligent application of painters and drafters — left unaffected the contents of the barrels, a claim which could not be made of the final tactic. In the summer of 1665, Fran writes for the first time of the containers being emptied of dulciflux and subsequently filled with various fluids, including ‘verter water’ (a charm for warts), wash runoff, and, in some cases, ‘the excretory byproducts of certain domesticated animals’ (Papers of F. Bazz., II. sig. xiiij. cij.). These carefully unlabeled receptacles, accompanied by a sack holding an indeterminate quantity of the original contents, were then reintroduced to the circulatory routes of the merchants.
The economic consortium, which had begun to reap a lucrative income from the products’ sales, had recourse to a number of measures. Chief among them were nighttime raids of the ollalie and liquorice stores in the tholi, and, in early 1666, as the stockpiles were moved or hidden, torching of the homes and wunynge stedes abutting the sources of raw material. Nötte adopted a defensive stance, and from 1666 to 1668, Fran herself transported hundreds of barrels of dulciflux to the Chirming Caverns near Omose, and served on the dousing-lines for at least three flagrated homes.
Although no philosophical or ideological obex or obstacle precluded the next step, it guaranteed such a drastic shortfall of meaningful goods that prior deliberation had ruled it out. But, in May 1668, all available dulciflux was loaded onto ships and taken to the markets at Calvos, where it was entrusted to one of the massive temple complexes in exchange for gaffelage [a periodical fee], the residuum to be reclaimed at any future time.
Settlement in Cruppit-upon-Fleave
These altercations (which Melinda Pentelow argues permanently altered the fabric of Nötte society), convinced Fran to decamp, and in July of 1668 Fran left to travel with Iarlina to Cruppit-upon-Fleave (modern day Cruppet). Iarlina remained in contact with a number of bysybben [relatives] there who had asked that she visit. They were in need of someone possessing expertise with chylastite, a dark brown mineral which, when incorporated properly into the body of malfunctioning pipeorgans, would impart unpredictable syncopation into legato passages. Her relatives were themselves intentionally ignorant of all such knowledge, believing it to predispose the adept to fainting fits. However, having embarked upon the refurbishment of the derelict instruments, they had recognized the wisdom of building at least one such iznack (as the altered keyboards were known).
Typically, work on the iznack would have taken only a season, but as Fran demonstrated a keen interest in the craft, Iarlina slowed the intricate beveling of the chylastite and machining of the casings, her handiwork accompanied by thorough explanations. Furthermore, the unworked mineral being fairly prevalent, Fran tried her hand at gemcutting, which she took to with tremulous excitement.
Over the next few years, Fran, aside from learning to play the organ, had plentiful opportunity to explore Cruppit, a trithing [district] whose inhabitants exhibited a proclivity to cast themselves into prolonged and suggestive reveries, and which itself was dotted with catalysts to such ensimismamientos. These eggments occasionally took the form of rooms or even entire houses hung with all manner of lamps, candelabras, torches, and glittering mobiles. More portable manifestations, such as sequined justaucorps, were not unheard of either. In 1670 Fran discovered the subdued companion pieces to these sparkling incitements: reliquary gallows and disintegrating hangerells, of which two in ten might harbor a string of suspended buttercup leaves on each arm, bearing morbid witness to their own ancient and obsolete utility. Synthesizing these two installations were towering ancestral trees, associated indissolubly with specific estates, festooned with brilliant paper globes by their caretakers.
For those unhabituated to these meretricious pockets of light, unaided or unguided contemplation could come as quite a shock, and Fran often predictably found herself nonplussed by the ordonnance of coruscating surfaces. Frequented by these attacks of credulity, she was easily persuaded by sophistry and paralogisms; though, as she is quick to point out, this disposition occasionally worked in her favor, as for instance when immediate compliance with a rather confusing suggestion allowed her to escape a cwedschipe [wickedness] (the collective noun) of wraiths (Favor, §2407).
Fran’s inauguration into the community at Cruppit, having provided her with this unique aesthetic experience, would inform her most celebrious book, An expression of favor to her fairship Iarlina Urfumpfylle, composed from notes recorded during her sojourn. The work (published in 1672 on an antique press in Pesslebrook with the help of one of the curators, Valerie Gaulthorpe, and her apprentice, S. P. Footh) consolidates Fran’s feelings of gratitude towards her omnipresent foster parent, and refracts that sentiment through the overwhelming ostentation and luminescence of Cruppit.
Domestic agriculture
However, disillusioned by the ease with which the unfamiliar confines of Cruppit had perplexed and intertriked her, Fran abandoned her mentor and returned to Nötte, where Herry still resided at the house in which the children had been raised. Herry, now eupathized with Parnel Gowenloch W., had not intended to leave the property unaltered, and was, at the time Fran resurfaced, engaged in supplementing the scrœben [a gridwork of trenches in which to cultivate flax], which was fed by subterranean springs. Unfortunately, his engineering acumen was not all it could be; he and Parnel had chosen a rather wet spring for the earthworks. Fran, settling in after her return, contributed to their efforts only to find that the mudguards which the two men wore insufficed to prevent the recurrence of mild chilblains to which she remained susceptible — one of the many aftereffects of a frostbitten evening spent out of doors on a mountain peak in late fall of 1656 while collecting Pyrus undiquis (pea-pear) flowers (a particular irony given the ubiquity of the blossoms at that time of year). Well-acquainted with the textile properties of the cotton legwear, Fran contrived to fortify them twofold: by interweaving hemp fibres, and coating the boots in impermeable wax used on instructional cards employed in the chylastite retorts.
This refiguration accomplished, she persisted at the scrœben without crymodynia or other podalic pains. As Fran soon found, enlarging and buttressing the trenches required the erection of barriers to the incursion of ælfsogoða [elf hiccoughs], which physically manifested as cracks, fissures, or breaches in the trench walls. Fran wrote of these deterrent measures in Malleus et Cippus (1678) : brittle boundary stones, erected to mark an exaggerated ambit to the arable land, were subsequently destroyed with plumed hammers and much ceremony.
The Rynt campaign, 1679–1686
After the publication of Malleus, Fran began to find Nötte somewhat oppressive, and, of her fifth heliosis (aet. 32), voyaged to a commarck where her sister was stationed. In 1676, Lora had been elected to command a desmey (a brigade of 1,500–2,000 persons), making her the equivalent of a modern colonel; she and her forces would go on to successfully defend the Esplanades during the Rynt campaign (1677 –1686). Fran, hoping to contribute to the defense, entered infantry training on 5 September 1679 to acquaint herself with the skills necessary to pass from ‘militaster’ to soldier. In the beginning of December of that year she was subjected to her first firefight and, as she records in To put to a Fain Rebuke (1686), her epinician wartime journal, she ‘surmounted in incomplete measure, both of that fear and vexation which, the cause being as yet unexperienced, one might easily be led to believe, would be evoked as a galenic [calm] transposition of the self’ (7 Dec. 1697 4·2). By her own account she was a woman of no small stature, though her confident figure was often belied by a bumbling dexterity in the operation of door handles and knobs which, after a straining day of small arms fire, would contrive to render nearly all portals impassable to her. Furthermore, as noted by a contemporary, it is entirely possible that this uncouth difficulty nearly cut off her group from receiving reinforcements when she inexplicably proved unable to engage the crankshaft of a vetust portcullis (Annis hostium, ✠839\3). Nonetheless, she survived the action without sustaining any serious wounds, other than suffering a spell of camel’s grass fever (then called ‘squimmbal’ or ‘frumenty sweats’ and thought to be a malady brought on by excessive consumption of dulciflux), and losing her left index finger when a small cache of saltpetre which she was in the process of labeling exploded.
Death of Herry
In 1686, the marauders having been permanently repelled, Fran made her way to Nötte with a company of her fellows. There she was greeted by the sad news that her brother Herry, suffering from some undiagnosed chronical condition, languished close to death. Parnel’s ministrations had eased his symptoms somewhat but were ultimately unequal to the task, and Herry died on 5 March 1687. In keeping with local traditions, the ground floor of the home he had shared with Parnel was converted into a smoke room, in which thuribles dispensed fumes and ustions of the smoldering birch bark placed therein. Fran assisted in partly dismantling the framework of the upper story for the timbers, used both to shore up the scrœben of friends and relatives, and to scaffold rabbit tents.
Once the fumatory year passed, she rebuilt and refurnished the house with Parnel and Kalypso d Batill, a woman who Fran had met during the Rynt campaign, and whose adopted surname likely referenced that period of her life. The two women decided against residing on the property, instead moving into a bell tower some four miles distant, just outside of Omose, which they operated with little regard for the eroded burhwaru [borough] institutions, but with all due respect for the wishes of the townsfolk. Practical acquaintance with the campanological golems inside, integrated with her abeyant knowledge of the organ, prompted Fran to one final compositional endeavor, which, framed in her uncertain command of musical notation, was published as XIII Rallentandos in the summer of 1690. The book contained the promised thirteen passages, all of almost unbelievable slowness, which were intended to be played on the tower’s bells and accompanied by drunken chants, the resonance of which was to be magnified by locating the chorus in the nearby Chirming Caverns.
On 27 March 1692 Fran was crushed underneath ‘Balloon’, the second largest of the bells, when it came unmoored during a violent thunderstorm fifteen miles away, in Ponceaise. Her manuscripts, excepting those portions of Fain Rebuke recorded between February and August 1684, which are believed lost, survive in the Lanse archives in Brattleborough.
Argenbricht, rev.
